Session 3

  • 4/07

    • Today finds our group laying aside their compasses & brothel blueprints and packing their saddlebags for another long journey to expand their fledgling kingdom’s territory.
    • To start this new adventure off right, the group trudged merrily to the newly built tavern, to lay out their plans. However, taverns rarely bear productive fruit and the night soon saw Nuk serenading a cat, Vandamar ruining his new silk balaclava, and Cadoc busy being passed out on a table.

      • Stephanos and Kodar, being composed of more mature and alcohol-resistant matter, began searching the crowd for passing merchants/traders, and plying them for the latest in gossip and news. Among boring comments about Brevoyan Celebrities, the following chestnuts were acquired:
      • 1. Supposedly, the island in Candlemere Lake marks the border between the 2 worlds, and that the tower on the island is guarded by a fierce protector.
      • 2. A Midget Troupe (sorry) a band of gnomes have been spotted travelling up the Greenbelt, with the intent of mapping the entire Greenbelt Region.
  • 4/08

    • Today spent travelling to the Stag Lord’s fort (minus Nuk, who was nursing many bites that appeared to have come from a small, enraged creature of some sort), and settled into a spot just above the Shrike River where it emptied into the Tuskwater.
    • During 3rd watch, Stephanos and the whip-loving boomstick brandisher spotted a light moving along the lakeshore, but chose to ignore it.
  • 4/09

    • The next morning before departure, Kodar attempted to search for traces of what creature was travelling, but could not find any.
    • The majority of the rest of the day is spent cataloguing the contents of the area around the Stag Lord’s fort.
    • In the evening, some zombies were located:

      • A well-cast ‘Grease’ carpet was thoughtfully placed below the zombies, tripping them up and creating a physical barrier to protect Stephanos and Cadoc’s backs as they held the line.
      • Kodar activated his noise-tubes, his sure-aim causing chunks of rotten flesh to explode off of the corpses (and onto everyone else) and turning the grease into a vile porridge.
      • The zombies began to win out with their sheer numbers, no matter how many of them Stephanos re-killed. Vandamar, sensing a tipping point was near, flexed his muscles, waved his hands around in a complex pattern, and provided most of the remaining zombies with a brief yet pleasant falling sensation. Unfortunately for Cadoc, weighed down by his large-capacity 30 lb codpiece, he followed them in.
      • Stephanos, aided by the well-placed shots of both bullet and bolt dispatched the last of the foul atrocities.
    • As for Cadoc, no damage was done other than to his ego as a large mushy pile of rotten gore softened his fall. He was safely returned to the surface after a few hours when the spells effects had worn off. Vandamar was promptly cut off from the supply of Cayden Cailean’s XXX Hooch for a month.
    • Camping in the same spot that evening, the light was seen again. Kodar, feeling adventurous, called out to it with a tried and true “Knock knock” joke, but this caused the light to flinch and disappear.
    • The rest of the night passed uneventfully.
  • 4/10

    • Today the party travelled West of the Stag Lord’s fort to explore.
    • Around midday, many curses and “Yo Momma” jokes were heard.

      • Kodar went off to scout the disturbance, and finds a large group or irate gnomes yelling at each other and looking desperately at a wagon stuck in the middle of the river, to which several ponies were harnessed.
      • Stephanos cleared his throat and graciously offered the services of our party to aid the gnomes.
      • The head gnome, looking slightly worse for wear, accepted. When asked why he appeared as if he frequented the wrong bawdry house the night previous, he explained that he was mugged by a group of deranged kobolds.
      • Kodar and Stephanos peeled off their armor, and swam towards the wagon, hauling a rope. Kodar “Fumblefingers” Jones made several attempts to tie the rope off while our knight in no-armor dashingly cut free the ponies with well-timed flourishes.
      • On the shore, Cadoc played doctor to the gnomes, while Vandemar used his outrageous intelligence and tied the rope to a horse. Once Stephanos and Kodar arrived on the beach, the gnomes joined the party in pulling the wagon towards the shore, just as it came free from its sandbar… A near thing.
      • Before the gnomes could leave without even a thank-you, Stephanos wrangled a deal with the head gnome. For our party’s role in rescuing the ponies and possessions of the gnomes, Stephanos expressed a desire to learn of the areas the gnomes had currently mapped.
      • This gnome, Jubilost, agreed to provide us this information when offered not only the Royal Cartographer position in our kingdom complete with annually-increasing salary and benefits, but his pick of the nicest 6-foot blonde floozy at our kingdom’s recently constructed brothel.
      • One item of interest stood out, the location of a large lair filled with strange feathers, one the samples of which Stephanos appropriated.
    • That night, our party camped with the gnomes, feeling safety in numbers was a good idea.
  • 4/11

    • After a surprisingly uneventful night spent within the gnomish camp, our party continued westward.
    • After a time in the late afternoon just around a particularly sharp bend in the river, a pool was encountered filled with lily pads and surrounded by felled trees.

      • Nearby, two loggers were gazing daftly at a rather nice looking patch of clover, one of them picking his nose thoughfully.
      • Farther off, some angry-sounding men were standing and arguing amongst themselves.
      • Vandamar, plying his arcane arts, declared that these men had been the victim of a charm spell, and immediately spun towards the water, pointing to a blurry eldritch figure seem there.
      • The ever-valiant paladin strode forward to question this mysterious figure, and after a certain distance had been crossed the two men began to stumble forward with arms raised and hollow eyes gazing blankly.
      • Feeling lucky, Stephanos shouted some phrase in Sylvan that, while sounding like a come-on line to the vaguely female form, more likely could be translated as a plea to halt the advances of the two charmed men.
      • Whatever he shouted, the form leapt out of the water, and babbled something indignantly at our flabbergasted leader. Between the sentences of gibberish going back and forth, Stephanos related that her name was Meliance the Nixie, and she was very much angry at the loggers for cutting down her trees and wanted them to leave. After a bit more venting on her part, we marched our way over to the loggers who, after seeing us converse with the object of their difficulties, were watching us approach with apprehension.
    • As we closed the distance, on man stood forward and introduced himself as Korax. He explained that he and his crew were there harvesting wood on the decree given out by our kingdom, and that the trees in this area were especially tall, healthy, and strong. They had staked this area out, and meant to log further. Stephanos explained that the Nixie would release Korax’s men if they left, and would even give them information about where another nice area of trees could be found.

      • Korax (Who apparently does not speak for the trees like his cousin Lorax does.) agreed that his and his crew would go, but only if the men were released first.
      • When we explained this to the Nixie, she responded that she would only release the men, if her 5 trees were replaced. Ahh how there always seems to be twist.
      • These special and magical trees could only be acquired from a being named Teresia, who of course lived deeper into the wild part of the forest.
    • With our new quest in mind, we finished exploring the area, and moved westward towards the home of Teresia.
  • 4/12

    • Sunrise woke the party, and we continued to follow Meliance’s directions.
    • After a time we encountered a small pool, which had, as its solely remarkable feature, a red-haired lady made out of leaves sobbing into it. Upon hearing us, the lady seemed unsurprised and merely pulled a leaf off at random, blew her nose, and beckoned to a nearby tree, where a satyr cautiously inched out.

      • We were expected it seemed, however before we could question the now dry-eyed (but smelling now of damp dead leaves) dryad, she began to speak.
      • “I know why you are here, but I am afraid I cannot just give you what Meliance needs at the moment, for a great evil has recently been inflicted upon us.” And I quote.
      • We were told that a tree had nearly killed the satyr as well as other creatures it encountered, and that its heart, now dark and rotten, was poisoning the land it touched. If we were to gain the 5 magic trees for the nixie, we first were requested to slay this tree by whatever means we possessed. She gave us directions to the SE, and resumed filling the pond with her tears as ardently as possible.
    • After a time, a stench was noticed that outranked the smell from the fungus between Kodar’s toes. We noticed plenty of bones strewn about, and many of the trees appeared sickly.
    • In a clearing, Vandamar noticed an odd tree standing by itself on the other side about 30 ft away. As he pointed it out to the rest of us, the tree suddenly attacked us with its thorny branches!

      • Feeling woefully inadequate for not bringing a woodchuck, the party took turns feinting and hacking at the trees rotten flesh.
      • This proved difficult to do, as it seemed that whenever we moved too far away, the tree would simply pull its roots up and follow us.
      • After some time, our continuous blows appeared to weaken the monstrosity, enough for Stephanos to stride in with eyes ablaze and sword aloft to deliver the killing chop.
    • Vandamar cast a seldom-used spell, and created a treasure map from the “flesh” of the tree, using its own memories. After some confusion, he realized that the treasure lay in the tree roots itself, and performed some rare physical labor in discovering it.
    • On our way back, the forest seemed to be rapidly recovering and returning to its previous healthy state. Teresia, who apparently already knew of our heroics, was no longer crying. She handed us 5 magic feathers, and told us to plant them in the ground, back away, and they would turn into the magic trees Meliance desired.
    • We headed back East towards the loggers camp, and planted the trees (after arranging them just so) for Meliance, who released the charmed miners from her control. As the miners packed up, Korax relayed some gossip, saying that the Stag Lord had risen from the dead, and was raising an army of ghost bandits. After some quick deliberation over what this might mean, we spend the night near the pond.
  • 4/13

    • During our explorations the next day, a peculiar mud-brick hut surrounded by a “charming” fence hung with fetishes was encountered.
    • As we moved closer to examine it, Kodar began to mumble something about a baby-eating witch named Bell-Dame, and Vandamar noticed that the harmless looking scarecrow propped up near the front door was in fact a rather complex magical construct of some sort.
    • Playing it safe, Stephanos hailed the cottage, and was rewarded by an absolutely hideous face peering out of a window. When he introduced himself as the ruler of the new kingdom, she hobbled outside, and bent to one knee in what surely must have been an excruciatingly painful process, and gave a courteous greeting. After we helped her up, she invited us in, and we accepted.
    • As Cadoc began to sample the contents of the jug she tossed him, the rest of the party began to question her about the stag lord rumors.

      • When she heard this, she spat a wad of phlegm into the floor, and said that these so-called ghosts running around the lake were actually will-o-the-wisp’s, evil fey that feed on fear and attempt to lead their victims to their death.
      • She added that the island on Candlemere lake was stuffed full of them.
    • She mentioned that fey love a certain kind of mushroom, “Black RattleCaps”,and that if we promised to gather some for her as well, she would tell us where they grew.
    • She mentioned that fey love a certain kind of mushroom, “Black RattleCaps”,and that if we promised to gather some for her as well, she would tell us where they grew.
    • We travelled back to the Stag Lord’s fort, and again saw the lights at night.
  • 4/14

    • After an uneventful night, marked only by Stephanos’s many trips to the camp latrine, the party set forth to explore the land East of the Bell-Dame’s hut, eventually bearing SW towards the Tuskwater.
  • 4/15

    • We broke camp this morning and continued our search for the elusive Black RattleCap Mushrooms.
      A particularly foul-smelling bog was encountered, with bubbling mud pools everywhere. One of these, about 20ft in diameter, seemed to have large clumps of Black-topped fungus and moss growing around it.
    • As we approached, the awful smell increased so much as to overcome us with nausea, and we stood at the point of no return, about 10 feet away.
    • As we approached, the awful smell increased so much as to overcome us with nausea, and we stood at the point of no return, about 10 feet away.
    • As he neared the mushrooms, a massive pile of vegetation hauled itself up about 15 feet away, and shot a tentacle at Stephanos!

      • The first attack missed, but the second did not, and Stephanos was summarily groped, grabbed, and swallowed.
      • Vandamar began tossing jars of alchemist fire at it with alacrity, while Cadoc, trying to be a man and rush in, was overcome with the awful smell, turned back and begin projectile vomiting.
      • Loading a long tube with what looked like black dirt, Kodar lit the end on fire and began making pieces of the creature explode away as Cadoc continued to helpfully empty the contents of his digestive system onto the ground.
      • Stephanos somehow hauled himself out of the beast and began running out of the vile stench cloud, but the not-very-fungi followed him, unsuccessfully trying to grab him again with a tentacle.
      • Breaking free, Stephanos pulled free his illegitimate child of a weapon, intended to wreak flaming doom upon the creature which had dared to manhandle him so. However, this death was not to be seen this day, as Kodar shout a cloud of projectiles at the monster, blowing a large hole into its “chest” and sending foul fungus everywhere. Hooray!
    • After we recovered, Stephanos moved forward and was able to harvest 14 Black RattleCap mushrooms.
      We were able to finish exploring the area without further fungi attacks, and camped for the night.
  • 4/16

    • This day we explored the area to the East of the site of the mud-fungus battle without difficulty.
  • 4/17

    • We found ourselves in the area crossed by the Goudin? River, and we crossed the ford we found there.
      As we approached the Lonely Barrows to camp, Kodar expressed a desire to study the ancient paintings that were depicted on all of the walls.
    • The night passed uneventfully.
  • 4/18

    • The party explored the area SE of the Lonely Barrows
  • 4/19

    • Continued to explore the surrounding areas, Vandamar found a large feather. The creature which could have dropped this feather however was not found.
  • 4/20

    • The party explored the area some ways south of Olegs. No foul play was encountered.
  • 4/21

    • This day we headed back to the Bell-Dame’s cottage. After expressing her happiness to see us, she became even happier when we presented her with 10 Black RattleCap mushrooms.
    • For this vile-smelling gift, we received 1000 gold from bag produced from her bosom. Gold kept in an old witch’s bosom is still gold, right?
  • 4/22

    • Spent traveling back to Oleg’s.
  • 4/23

    • We entered Olegsburg with feeling of satisfaction as we saw how big it was becoming.
    • This feeling quickly soured when Wallace the diplomat told us there had been murders in our town, occurring every 2 to 3 days, with this night being predicted for the killer to strike again.

      • The tally came to 3 people (2 shepherds and a bar maid), and at least that many sheep.
      • The bodies had been hastily buried and not inspected very carefully, but were described as being horribly mangled.
    • Wallace also brought in some people to meet us, Viscount Loy and Latricia Resbin.

      • They had found a beautiful place in the woods, about where we had slain the Tatzlewyrm , and wanted our blessing to found a village there underneath our kingdom’s protection.
      • They offered to assist us with the cost of building, and we agreed. They will start as soon as the area can be claimed for the kingdom and they have people ready to accompany them.
    • To the ends of solving the murder causing unrest to our people, Kodar managed to bribe a shepherd into “renting” his sheep to us, making us promise that no sheep would come to harm or be, as he put it, “buggered.”
    • While Kodar was thoughtfully preparing a trap for this killer, Cadoc went out pubbing, and learned from gossip that trolls have been spotted on the southern border.
    • That night, the sheep were placed in a coral in the middle of a large empty field.

      • Stephanos, atop his trusty charger, hid in the woods bordering the field with the intent of rushing the killer, should it appear.
      • Kodar and Vandamar took up position on the roof of a nearby farmhouse with a clear view of the sheep corral, while Cadoc waited below, behind the front door.
      • As the moon rose overhead, about midnight, a large, stumbling figure holding an axe was spotted heading towards the sheep. As it neared the corral, the party was able to identify it as a werewolf!
      • Not wanting to pay 50 gold for each sheep this thing would slaughter, the weighty cleric burst from the quaint cottage and began sprinting “quickly” towards the killer.
      • With the werewolf’s attention fixated upon the slowly advancing cleric, it failed to notice the gallant charge our paladin had created until Stephanos’s sword was nearly up its arse
      • With Vandamar and Kodar shouting words of encouragement, Cadoc and Stephanos beat up the werewolf (taking its lunch money in the process) until it collapsed, and then tied it to a corral post, waiting for sunrise.
  • 4/24

    • As sunrise made its morning debut, the unconscious werewolf transformed into a man. As the sun’s rays hit his face, he awoke, and burst into tears.

      • We learned his name was Kuhn Dahl, and that he was cursed with this transformation once a month.
      • The party pooled some money, purchased a scroll of Remove Curse from the trading post, and Cadoc cast it.
      • Taking into account that the man’s murderous actions were not his own, we did not execute him.
      • However, he did murder 3 people, therefore, as punishment for his deeds, we sent him to the temple of Erastil, to dedicate his life to serving that god and assisting Father Jhod.
    • We rested the rest of the day.
  • 4/25

    • We decided to play up being the heroes of the kingdom, and took this day off from adventuring.
  • 4/26

    • This day we left Olegsburg on our way to the Bell-Dame’s cottage, to ask our favorite oracle of add gossip and knowledge if she had heard about any trolls recently.

      • She mentioned she had no inkling of troll activity, but did know of a lizard-folk lair just west of Candlemere Lake.
      • After thanking her and partaking of more of her wondrously strong grog, the party left on their way, camping that night near her cottage,
  • 4/27

    • The party headed west this morning as part of our longer journey south to look for the lizard folk lair.
    • Along the way Kodar kept a sharp eye to the ground and surrounding area, looking for signs of trolls.
    • As we travelled through the woods, Stephanos noticed that something was following our progress.

      • Kodar attempted to be sneaky and discover who it was, but was discovered. The rest of us heard the conversation start, and headed that way.
      • This man (who possessed a vaguely idiotic grin) claimed his name was Harvin, and that he was just a simple druid who cared for this section of the woods.
      • Recalling that Bokken said his crazy, lying brother was in the south with his mother, we mentioned that we were seeking one ‘Dio’, and had had Harvin seen this murderous swine travelling along with a large cat?
      • At the mention of Bokken’s name, the idiotic grin went away, and Harvin became kind of twitchy. As the rest of us tensed up, he glared at us, and yelled “CAT!”
      • As if by magic, a large catlike creature ran up and jumped on Kodar to give him some face-tearing loving.
      • While Stephanos kept Harvin/Dio busy, Vandamar and Cadoc assisted Kodar with disentangling the mountain lion from his face. Cadoc, surprised into sobriety by the sudden violence, rammed his rapier into a particularly vital region of the cat’s chest, dispatching the ferocious creature.
      • Dio was surrounded and eventually beaten into submission.
        Vandamar cast charm on him to make him talk, and we made him lead us to his tree.
    • We retrieved his brother’s locket underneath a pile of large hairballs, some loot, and a helpful map of the surrounding area.
    • After some brief discussion amongst ourselves, we executed Dio on charges of banditry. We camped there that night.
  • 4/28

    • Breaking camp, we approached the Murky? River and its bordering marsh, with this particular area being slow-moving, murky, and reed-infested. We were able to cross without consequence.
    • On the North side of the river, we spied what appeared to be a ruined Circular Keep, surrounded by 4 vine-encrusted circular towers.
    • As we approached, we noticed the front door was shut and locked tight, but this proved not to be an issue as we found a path that led us to a large opening in the East wall.
    • Vandamar, examining the ruins, believed this to be of ancient Elven construction.
    • Stephanos and Kodar walked forward through the opening, and before the others could join them, a portcullis dropped down!

      • Cadoc flexed his muscles and picked up Vandamar who, after Cadoc sweared never to bring this up in a bar when ladies were present, levitated them both over the wall.
      • As they touched down, a booming voice was heard echoing through the ruined keep saying “HEY, what are you doing here??”.
      • Kodar believed that it was a magically recorded message of some sort.
        All of the sudden, the party was attacked by a blur, taking swipes at Stephanos before running back the way it came.
      • The party moved together as the blur took turns attacking each side from opposite direction, running back each time.
      • The blurry figure immediately burst into flames as it died, which led us to believe that it was some sort of fey as our paladin’s sword was enchanted to be particularly effective against those creatures.
    • We explored the rest of this vaulted-ceilinged area, and found many frescoes adorning the walls of feasting, manly feats, the saving of damsels, etc. We also discovered a staircase leading up to the next floor.
    • As we came to the end of the staircase, we beheld a very curvy, blue-skinned lass with large pointy ears, dressed in clothes that had gone out of fashion thousands of years ago.
    • She was busy moving her curves around in a provocative dance, which obviously had our party’s attention.
    • Stephanos was able to cry out “She’s Evil!” before falling into a slack-jawed stupor gazing at her woman parts. Kodar joined him in admiration.

      • Cadoc, wishing he could also partake in viewing such beauty, found himself entangled with magical vines instead. Then, he found himself quickly wishing he wasn’t as she danced over and gave him a very tight, grappling hug. She smelled awful.
      • As she began to lavish her affections on Cadoc, Stephanos and Kodar found themselves with clearer heads, and proceeded to hit her with their ugly-sticks/swords.
      • Despite their best intentions, the stinky seductress pinned Cadoc helplessly, and another aggressive-looking male fey appeared in the window.
      • Miss Curves began to bite Cadoc, draining his blood and vitality! Aside from smelling bad, she apparently hadn’t brushed in a thousand years either.
      • Feeling a little jealous, Stephanos and Kodar continue to chop away at her, and when Stephanos finally delivers the killing blow by cleaving her in twain, the man-fey in the window singles Stephanos out and attacks!
      • Vandamar, feeling left out by not having had any attention from the dancing girl, directed a burning gaze towards the man-fey, lighting his old clothes on fire.
      • When this didn’t appear to harm the evil creature, he whipped out a Shocking Grasp which had the effect of thankfully killing the creature.
    • After checking out the rest of the ruined keep and dispatching an assassin vine, we camped there for the night.
  • 4/29

    • The party began its journey back to Olegsburg
  • 4/30

    • At the end of the day, Olegsburg was reached.
  • 5/01

    • A trip to Bokken’s was made, in which we relayed the news about his brother’s death. IN addition, we handed over the locket.
    • Bokken, overcome with emotion, pays us with some gold.
  • END OF SESSION

Session 3

Kingmaker someshta8